No. 1: Wearing camo
It’s a long-standing tradition for Paly seniors to wear camouflage pants on the first day of school and on special occasions throughout the year. The best way to get acclimated at Paly is to pretend you’re a senior. Heck, go all out and buy a ghillie suit that covers you head-to-toe. If you see seniors staring aggressively at you, they’re probably just impressed by your impeccable fashion taste!
No. 2: Walk really slowly in the hallways
Getting to class on time is just a mentality, right? Time isn’t real, and neither is the bell. If you stroll down the hallways like you’re in slow motion, you get to observe all the different shades of beige that make up the Paly aesthetic. As you take your leisurely pace, don’t forget to create a bottleneck for the people behind you, especially in the 800s hallway where it’s like a human traffic jam.
No. 3: Sprint to the lunch line
The best-kept secret of the school cafeteria is that the first five students in the lunch line each day are rewarded with a top-secret, off-the-books menu item. We’re talking crème brûlée, lobster tail, filet mignon and other delicacies. Is the secret menu real? Who knows. But do you really want to be the one who didn’t run and missed your shot at macaroni and cheese with caviar?
No. 4: The quiet room
Ah, the quiet room — a special place in the library for reflection, studying, or chilling when you need some peace and solitude. But let’s be real: What’s peace without a little disruption? A true icon knows that the quiet room is the perfect spot to blast Instagram reels at maximum volume. Sure, everyone else might be pretending to focus, but nothing says “I’m cool” quite like the sounds of a 30-second cooking hack at full blast. Besides, the acoustics in the quiet room are too good to waste on silence.
**Bonus points if you somehow manage to get the entire room watching your video at once. It’s like a surprise group viewing session, except no one asked for it.
No. 5: Making new friends
In a school with 1,992 students, it can be difficult to stand out in the crowd — unless, of course, you take a bold approach. A great way to make new friends is to approach someone and immediately ask them about their GPA, extracurriculars and what they scored on the most recent math test. People love sharing these deeply personal details about their life and will definitely appreciate you skipping the usual pleasantries and diving straight into the numbers. Plus, they’ll be so impressed by your directness! If you’re feeling really bold, you can take your networking to the next level and ask these questions on LinkedIn. Make sure to send them a personalized connection request first with a message that says something to the effect of, “I noticed we both have math class together and I thought we could collaborate on our future career aspirations.” Instant friendship!
No. 6: Senior deck aka freshman deck
The senior deck: a place where the upperclassmen lounge with all the grace and authority of royalty. But why should they have all the fun? Freshmen, it’s time to make your mark and march up to that deck like it’s your rightful domain. The seniors may glare at you as if you’re trespassing on hallowed ground, but they’re just jealous of your youthful audacity. What are they going to do, ask you to leave? Pfft. Just act like you’ve been there for years. The more confusion you create, the better. With your confidence, they’ll soon be questioning the very notion of seniority. It’s your deck now. Embrace it.
No. 7: Wear your PE uniform at all times
Why limit your PE uniform to just gym class when it’s clearly the most practical outfit you own? It’s like the Swiss Army knife of school attire: comfortable, effortless and ready for any physical activity that may or may not come your way. Wearing your PE uniform to every class is a bold move. It says, “I’m here to learn … but also, if the fire alarm goes off, I’ll be the first to the Quad.”
No. 8: Testing center protocols
The testing center is meant to be a collaborative space. After all, learning is all about working together, right? So, why not treat the test like a group project? Speak loudly, ask your neighbors for answers, and offer your own opinions on their answers too. You can start the conversation by casually leaning over and asking, “Hey, what did you get for number 3?” or “I’m between B and C — any thoughts?” The proctors will surely appreciate how you’re cultivating a spirit of teamwork during such a high-pressure environment. If anyone gives you a weird look, assure them that “teamwork makes the dream work.” Feel free to overstay your allotted time limit as you continue to work in this collaborative space. No one will mind, great things take time.
