It was like a scene out of a movie: one January morning, half of my 4th grade music class disappeared. It wasn’t until lunch that we found out why: They’d been brought to the school psychologist’s office. They were students of Ohlone Elementary School teacher Mike Airo, who had just been charged with sexually abusing a child a decade prior. This was the first time I had been exposed to conversations on sexual assault in my direct community, especially ones concerning an offender that I knew.

While I’m incredibly grateful to have grown up in a city and school district that are relatively open about discussing sexual assault, the truth is that it remains massively underreported, nationwide and locally. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, only 37% of general sexual assaults and 12% of child sexual abuse cases are reported to police.

When assault allegations arise in Palo Alto, locals discuss the case over the dinner table and after-class chats. Though these conversations often scrutinize how our school district and judicial systems handle cases of sexual violence, we tend to give too little thought to the impact of our very own conversations.

We must understand the significance of how the general community discusses sexual assault allegations, because those conversations can have serious implications for the type of culture we create.

Rapists can be teachers, friends, parents, partners and well-respected members of a community, as we’ve seen time and again. The belief that guilt and a good reputation are mutually exclusive is a dangerous misconception, but it’s one our community still struggles with.

Under a February Palo Alto Online article detailing the charges currently facing ex-Greene Middle School teacher Peter Columbo, including ​​aggravated sexual assault of a child, one can find a sea of comments. One in particular, left under the pseudonym ‘Retired PAUSD Teacher’, exemplifies how this fallacy is used against victims.

“Ms. Morgan [Columbo’s accuser] goes to great lengths to document complaints against Mr. Colombo, but put very little effort into finding the myriad of compliments and thank you cards he has received over the years,” the reader said. This harmful rhetoric contributes to an atmosphere that protects offenders and persecutes victims.

Those listening may experience assault in the future, and after seeing firsthand the attitude of their own community, how could they possibly feel safe to speak out and be taken seriously?

Survivors of sexual abuse deserve a community in which they are safe to speak publicly about what they have experienced, regardless of the status of their abuser — and our attitude and conversations  must reflect that right.